I tried writing three different versions of another blog post before finally abandoning the effort. This summer has really taken its toll on me, and I feel like I’ve lost my voice as a writer. I’ve struggled with this before when dealing with backlash and bullying from the patient community, but this time, it’s different – I’m in such a weird headspace with my arthritis that most days I don’t know what I want to say or how to say it.
The longer I live with my RA, the further away, the more disconnected I become from my childhood with it – it’s like a murky dream I’m only 80% sure actually happened. It’s not that I’ve forgotten. Instead, I feel like my mind has gone to great lengths to protect me from the trauma I’ve experienced, suppressing the darkest moments.
In case you missed it yesterday, Jennifer Aniston wrote what can only be described as a BADASS essay in the Huffington Post taking on the tabloid “journalism” culture of the decade-long Aniston baby watch. Maybe you don’t like Aniston. Maybe you think that the paparazzi is a part of fame that she “signed up for.” Whatever your feelings towards celebrities sharing these sorts of essays, one thing is true: we live in a world that almost universally reduces a woman’s success and worth to her choice whether or not to marry and have children.
As part of a Health Central project we’re working on, I was asked how I respond to people when they don’t believe that I’m sick. I’m happy to say that this has never happened to me when I tell people I have RA. Reactions range from shock and awe to empathy (from people who actually know what RA is) but never flat out rejection. I guess that’s pretty hard to say to someone’s face, right? But for the keyboard warriors of the world not so much.
Hi, friends! I’ve missed you! I hate that it’s been a month since I’ve written anything, but that last post took a lot out of me. So much so, that I really needed to take a break not just from writing, but from sharing so much with the #ChronicLife community. I love that I have so many amazing friends that are always there to support me when I’m struggling, but sometimes I find myself needing to unplug from it all and focus on being present offline with friends and family. April ended up being a tough month, and this was especially true. I’ve got some other posts in the work that I’m really excited, but first an update.