It’s hard to believe, but it’s been more than six months since my knee surgery in February. I feel overwhelmingly “back to normal,” but there are lingering reminders that this surgery, in particular, left its mark – physically and mentally.
Back in January as I prepared for joint surgery number ten, I scheduled a fitness photoshoot with Jess McDougall Creative to memorialize the results of months spent training in an effort to go into my knee surgery as strong as physically possible. The gym also became my place to cope with the rage I felt going into yet another surgery just four months after having wrist surgery in October of last year.
Wow. I’m getting really good at barely writing on even a monthly basis. Oh well. I try. To be fair, I did have surgery #10 last month, and recovery has been a living hell slow going at best.
It’s been 135 days since I last wrote a blog post. Some days I’ve had a lot to say, others nothing at all. And, for some reason, I didn’t feel like I could come back to writing without offering an explanation for my absence – even though I don’t owe that to anyone. I didn’t feel like I could just jump back in with a post about how RA has affected my body image, and, at times, disordered eating even though I’ve been working on it off and on since last July. This is my 5th attempt at writing since surgery, and I still don’t know what I want to say. So much has happened. Medically, personally, politically even.